Things I look forward to when no longer pregnant

Number one: shave my legs. There's nothing more awkward than having to position your foot against the side of the bath whilst your tired arm strains past the immoveable lump that is in place of your belly.
Number two: eat normally. There's something strange about the fact that I am now using up twice the amount of energy as I usually would, yet my stomach is shrunk to half in size because someone is growing within. Snacking is the way to go. No more meals - just sandwiches. All. The. Time.
Number three: being able to walk again. If waddling was an Olympic sport I'd get first prize. Maybe even be a world champion. All over the world people would chant for their favourite soon-to-be mothers as they move like penguins down a track. Points are given for enthusiasm and lack of grace.
Number four: not running out of energy. Of course, when the baby actually comes I'll be exactly the same. Just not out of energy because I'm making the thing but because she or he or they constantly need my support and attention.
Number five: being able to put my own shoes and socks on. See number one for specific issues regarding bump.

Decency

I didn't ask for glory
I didn't ask for fame
I didn't ask for wealth or lands
It was just the decent thing to do
She didn't tell me who to blame
She didn't begin to complain
She just asked and explained and I gave
It was the decent thing to do
The man who cried did not shout
He did not hit me or sue
He just took my comfort as goodwill it was
It was the decent thing to do
The little girl who was lost
Took my hand and we went looking
Her mother was overjoyed and thanked me
I said it was the decent thing to do
Yet still others saw what I did
They photographed and posted and said
That I was a enabler, a harasser, a paedophile
That it was not the decent thing to do

Darling

When at night
When I can't sleep
Because his snoring
Or your movements are
Keeping me awake
I know then that I
Cannot wait to meet you
When I feel your little heartbeat below mine
When I see your hand press against my skin
When I feel you dance in time to music that will soon be heard through not a line of flesh but through your true ears
I know then that
I love you
That I cannot wait to hold you
That you are already my precious darling
And will always be.