Rising

Changed
I am an altered person
By this sheer experience
I am
Anew
Reborn
Like a pheonix
I might be
Someone that
You might not recognise
Or something
That you reminisce of
I am
Not the one
Who you knew
Someone else
Anew
Born from ash and flame and bright light
You have seen
Me
Now you see
A new me
A new soul
Reborn in a new body
I am
Someone else
Who you
Knew
Now not
Someone
New
True
I am anew

Charge

Charge
Charge my energy and let me
Be me
Alive
Survive
Got it
For I am now
Charge
I am that which is
Is large and here and wanting
To be
Bigger than ever before
I'm a
Bigot
Uncontrollable
But I'm more than I've ever been
Feeling good
About myself
For now
For the first time
In
So so long
Who are you
To say
I am
I
I am nothing?
No I am everything
You are
Not
They are not
We are
They are
Charged

Tonight

Tonight I shall be a storyteller
Speaking of the days of old
Tonight I will be a history maker
Speaking of knights so bold
Tonight you will hear my words and wonder
Tonight you will be amazed
Tonight I will tear your world asunder
And set your hearts, with passion, ablaze
For once we had not ink and pen
Slate and stone took too long
And so we told the stories in the open
From mouths into words and song
Tonight I will remember the times of yesterday
When things were darker, men were led astray
When adventure was the centre of their world
And kings cantered with flags unfurled
Tonight I will tell you of those tales
That over times have been forgotten
Tonight I will tell you of the wails
Coming from the women begotten

Search

Glasgow Park

Walking through the park
On a Thursday afternoon
Seventeen past three
And the children are out of school
Wandering past the trees
In blazers just as green
There's a mother with her baby
Smoking, but her head tilted
To look away from the child
And there's another mother
But this time she's old
In a wheelchair and blanket
Being pushed by her own daughter
And there's the dog running
With his owner jogging behind
That's his family, in truth
The one he was given and kept
Here's grandparents with a pram
And a four year old behind
Helping to guide them home
Maybe they are their home
Getting to the gate now
And bicycles are mad
Ringing their way across roads
As other kids play dangerously
But there's always an eye watching
There's always the birds in the sky
There's always the wind hushing
And there's always family
Glasgow family
In her park

Father

You have enabled me to climb mountains I'd never thought I would summit
You have given me hope joy and peace in the times when all has seem bleak
You have been there through the shouting, the violence and anger
You have given me the inspiration to keep writing, even in my hopeless hours
Your books lie upon my shelf, read at regular intervals
Your plays I have performed using my own methods, renewed their passion
Your brilliance and your intelligence have sparked the first flames within me
You were there when I took my first breath and I hope still around when I take my last
You are the cement in the foundations of my home and borders
You provided me with such strength when I was young, which I still carry
You are what drove me initially onwards, into a bright future
You walked me down the aisle, me on the crook of your elbow
You will still be a part of me, even though I am married now
For how could I ever forget you

To the liar

Sometimes I think of all the lies you told
The way you kept us entertained
The tales you spun and the things you said
How you lived across the world
How your daughter was growing up so fast
How your infant son died in the cold of winter
You were married and you left your wife
Out of sorrow, out of memory
And then you came back to England
So engaged and full of a thousand words
You had the scars to prove your pain
You had the tears to let belief flow
But then we found out that Iceland never was
That the only truth was the death of your mother
The only fact was your sister
The only salvation was the fact we still trusted you
We still believe in your future
In your paintings, your forgery, your pain
Whatever the truth is you are still the same
Same man walking in those shoes
Who has shown some kindness, some spirit
Who wrote such pure-sounding word
For an artist is an artist whether or not
He created the brush strokes that gave his name
Your name, that may itself seem now a lie
But let me tell you this one day
That you are still in my mind, in these poems I write
You'll never be out of my mind
No matter what lies you told.

Catch me

I have a disease
And i don't want to put you at unease
But my sickness
It haunts me
I carry it around with me
There's no cure, as yet
They give pills but they only solve
The tiny fragments that splinter off and hurt the most
They give temporary measureable understanding
Making a life more
Balanced, one guesses
Setting emotions on a path of near
Straightness
Running parralell with yours
The disease is mostly in my head
But it causes outbursts that I can't control
I scream and shout
I hit and swear
Randomly tears begin to trickle down my pale, bloodless cheeks
I'm stuck with this horror
This neverending cycle
A type of pain that's not physical,
But is agony all the same
I strive to the effort of
Living each day
Surviving each day and being
An individual in a crowd
Of otherwise similar people, who may seem well out with
But inside their suffering daily
Keeping up the pretense that
We're all normal
All sane
That word which catapults around my mind
Caught in the unending web of my mentality
I am going to the edge
Edge of sanity, the edge of bravery
The gravity is failing me
I am falling
Please catch me

Untitled

Remembering the people left in this world
Remembering those who had voices unheard
Remembering the folk who are left to stand
Remembering those who walked hand in hand
Remembering those who were once were
Remembering those who are to be were
Remembering the men who stood proud and tall
Remembering the women who took it all
Remembering me and remembering you
What we were and how we grew
Remembering the dead and those we lost
Remembering what greed and lies cost
Remembering us and remembering them
What we had, now and then
Remembering out past and acknowledging now
Knowing what to do, when and how
What to say and what to do
The life we have and the few
The few who remember with us, and with them
We remember the times not to be forgotten again

All Good Things

When Eve first plucked the apple from tree
And held it roughly in her hand
She had a choice, she had a time
To contemplate her decision
But as all things come, and all things go
Fate had a hand and a voice to say
And into the apple's flesh her teeth sank,
Take a chunk of of lies, truth, sin and reason,
And expelling all her future family from the perfection.
In equal measure there was a queen
Who allowed her heart to be torn in two
As she married the king and courted another,
Loving Lancelot as well as Arthur,
She threw the kingdom into disarray
And threw the glory Camelot days away
Then in later times there was some men
Who decided that makers marks were needed.
They placed them on walls, on magical screens
That lit up and showed us new life
New ways of buying, of trying and flying
New ways to dream, with labels and signs
They changed food to branded expectations
And did away with unidentified creation
Good things come and then they go
By mere mistakes or the call of love
They speak words of hope and trust
And then they are none
Forgotten to long ago
Forgotten to myth and another life
All good things must come to an end

Demon

I've got a demon inside of me
He roars and scrapes his claws
Against the walls of my chest
Talons screech-scrip against my ribs
Clacking against each one like
He is counting them
One, two, three, four, snap
I hold my breath as my heart races
Hardly, can my lungs fill
But I'm used to this, I'm used to him
Pulling on my heart strings
Making irritants more irritating
Causing my fuse to be the short one
Making fat tears come down
At every TV baby or sorrowful tale
We fight endlessly, fists to knee knocks
Shouting and abusing each other
But ultimately he cannot be eliminated
There forever will my demon stay
Right in my chest and right in my mind
Dragging me slowly to insanity
Eons will pass and we'll still be at war
Only winning when I deny all existence of any emotion
For short while I'll be me
Until again he burps and reminds me
That he is here to stay forevermore

Box

On Monday I bought a box
It was a long box with a good fitting lid
Little brass handles at the sides
And it felt sturdy so I knew it would not break
On Tuesday I went to the bench
It's under an old oak tree with grass around
It's where we first met with dogs in tow
And we laughed when we met there again
On Wednesday I went out for dinner
It was with my friend Shirley. She was kind
She bought the meal for me and I said
How generous you were, how you always had let me finish your dessert
On Thursday I went shopping for food
It was strange walking the aisles alone
When I don't know where everything is
I had to ask for help
Friday I looked at big stones
They were by the waterside and I smiled
But just a little,
And I nodded a little as words were said
But I didn't care what type of stones
Only that they were there,
That I had to choose one to have your name carved onto it.
On Saturday I went to talk about things
We sat in a circle and nodded at nothing
My belly bulged but nobody made comment
I'm thinking that the name "Martha" will fit
Sunday and I'm with the box again
Walking forwards, with it behind me
I can't help them carry it because of my belly
But I know no one blames me
I sit and listen to the words
Even make a few myself.
All the words about you
And how you effected our lives.
How you will never see your daughter's face
About what you were like
Before you ended up inside that box
And I think about my week - the bench, the meal, and the box. I think about my life now, and what it will be, without you
But then I look down and there you are.
A part of you. A part of me. Part of both of us. Us.
Ready to enter the world.
Soon, coming soon. And I will love her so much. As much as I love you.
As much as I loved you.