Catch me

I have a disease
And i don't want to put you at unease
But my sickness
It haunts me
I carry it around with me
There's no cure, as yet
They give pills but they only solve
The tiny fragments that splinter off and hurt the most
They give temporary measureable understanding
Making a life more
Balanced, one guesses
Setting emotions on a path of near
Straightness
Running parralell with yours
The disease is mostly in my head
But it causes outbursts that I can't control
I scream and shout
I hit and swear
Randomly tears begin to trickle down my pale, bloodless cheeks
I'm stuck with this horror
This neverending cycle
A type of pain that's not physical,
But is agony all the same
I strive to the effort of
Living each day
Surviving each day and being
An individual in a crowd
Of otherwise similar people, who may seem well out with
But inside their suffering daily
Keeping up the pretense that
We're all normal
All sane
That word which catapults around my mind
Caught in the unending web of my mentality
I am going to the edge
Edge of sanity, the edge of bravery
The gravity is failing me
I am falling
Please catch me